Today I went grocery shopping. Seems simple, right? Well it’s not. Going shopping alone is crazy hard.

It starts with the dirty looks when I get the motorized wheelchair. The rude looks and even comments continue throughout the store. I’m blocking the aisle, why am I wearing a mask, if you can stand to reach that, why can’t you walk, it’s never ending. Thankfully most people are genuinely kind & patient. I mean seriously, do you know how hard it is to steer those bus size scooters through an aisle full of people and displays?!!

Before I continue, can we talk about those scooters? They are huge, half the time they’re not fully charged and I do not weigh enough to activate the sensor. So mine always stop & go, stop & go. I have to do a little bounce so my ass sets off the sensor. 😂

Ok back to shopping. I have Raynauds & it’s pretty bad. If I get slightly cold, my hands & feet take the worst of it. It’s very painful. It makes it difficult to do much with my hands and standing is painful. It makes shopping take twice as long.

There are two types of Raynaud’s, primary & secondary. Primary usually occurs at a younger age, with no other auto immune diagnosis. It’s less serious and not usually painful. Secondary occurs with an underlying disease, often a condition that attacks connective tissue. It can come in in sudden, painful attacks. It can be serious and lead to amputations. I have Raynaud’s secondary to my Scleroderma.

When I go to the grocery store I go prepared. I’m ready to bundle up in layers like I’m about to hike Everest. I look ridiculous in my coat, hat, & mittens. By the time I get to the register, I’m shaking like crazy & it’s difficult to get out my cards to pay. Tapping the screen to put in the PIN number is torture.

Once I get the car loaded, I have to sit and wait for my hands and feet to warm. I suffer through the tingling & pain that comes with the thaw. Heated seats are the best invention since heated blankets!

By the time I start my car, I’m exhausted and thinking about how I still need to go home & put it all away. Weird thing is, after going through all of this, it’s still a great feeling to accomplish something on my own! I thank God for giving me the strength and I drive home. The road to victory was painful, but the victory was sweet!