Tag Archives: systemic sclerosis

An incurable auto immune disease.

APPRECIATION

We talk a lot about being grateful, thankful, blessed, positive, and many other things that pertain to how “we” feel. I realized this morning that try as I may, I don’t always let the people who create these feelings in me, know how much they mean to me.

I truly appreciate every minute someone takes time out of their life to think of me. It could be a call, message, card, a joke, anything that makes me forget for one second what I’m dealing with at that moment.

My life would be a million times harder if it wasn’t for the people in my life who make me smile. Smiling is the best, laughter is even better.

For me in my darkest moments, a simple gesture can remind me why I fight. These little things give me the strength to remember who I am!

Who am I? I hope to never know 100% who I am. Learning & growing is a part of living & I like being alive! 😉

I believe my gifts are found in being a caregiver. I am a giver by nature. I take joy in seeing others smile. I especially like to make others find their smiles when I am struggling to find my own.

For these reasons I know what it’s like to want to show someone how much you appreciate them for all the things, they do for you. I don’t believe I’m as good at this as I’d like to be.

I am blessed to be surrounded by some pretty amazing people. In my darkest days, even that is not enough. But all of their “little” gestures shine a little light into the darkness & eventually I find myself feeling better.

Some days the battle between my mind, heart & body turns into a full-blown war. Try as I may, to be positive and strong, I have to submit to feel what screams to be felt and wait for the darkness to pass.

On these days, the “little” things are appreciated beyond measure. The darkness is lonely & painful. I appreciate every single, tiny, little moment of light that is sent my way.

I’m not sure I could ever let people know how much these “little” things mean to me, to my survival, to my will to fight this disease.

I am determined to be better. I will show my appreciation to my husband who never fails to be there when I need him most, to my friends who know me well enough to see I’m in need, & to strangers who hold the door for me or smile while ringing up my groceries. I will be better.

THEY LOST ME AT, “WHY ARE YOU HERE”

I’ve been sitting here trying to handle everything that comes when I have multiple appointments coming up, in Massachusetts. Fuel, someone to drive & help me, do I need to spend the night, etc… It has me thinking about the first time I went, how it began & what it’s like to feel like your medical care is strung together by a thin thread that you are trying to hold together.

Continue reading THEY LOST ME AT, “WHY ARE YOU HERE”