There are beautiful moments in our respective journeys that make us realize, “Wow. I’m glad I stuck around for this!” Last night was one of those nights. As I have documented in past blog posts, I am an avid race fan. If it has four wheels and goes fast, I’m either gonna watch it or be there for it. And I got the rare treat to visit the famed North Wilkesboro Speedway in the Brushy Mountains of North Carolina last evening as part of an open house they were doing before the racing commences next week. It was a beautiful night, full of memories, photos, activities, famous stars and great food. It was also the first time I had been back in the facility since last August, which coincides with my commencing writing blogs on this website. A lot has changed since then, both at the track and in the life of the person who is writing this blog. It’s been a great period of revival, renewal, change, growth, overcoming and trying. But now, I am in one of the best mindsets I have ever been in. And it’s time to take a victory lap. 🏁
The very first blog I wrote on this website was entitled “Moving At The Speed Of Life.” In this blog, I detailed my life and my journey, and how it was just getting started. Earlier in the month of August, I came the closest I had ever come to ending my own life. I found myself under immense and seemingly inescapable stress, I was dealing with loss and self-doubt and feelings of failure in my life, and I thought generally that I was going to go nowhere in my life, despite all of my best efforts. I had gone as far as to seriously consider the thoughts of suicide that were floating around in my mind at the time. I had even written notes, but had either threw them in the trash can or burned them. I thought my race had been run.
Simply put, I was in hell.
But over the span of the coming months, it was dear friends such as Renée Yaworsky, Diane Coll, Sandie Dee Ingrande and Just Another Badass Warrior founder Em Farwell that helped me chart a course. With great patience, diligence, love and kindness, they helped me lay out a game plan for my growth. They showed me that it was OK to take my foot off the accelerator and run my own race at my own pace, instead of trying to people-please and bury myself. They helped me gain resources and tools and tricks to overcome, they helped me find my therapist (shoutout to Elizabeth!), and they showed me that indeed, life is very much worth living. And without the help of those five women, nights like last night would not have been possible. I would have been in a much deeper, darker place.
Last night was my proof that life is worth living. I got to meet, talk to and shake hands with people I never dreamed I’d see anywhere but on television or on social media posts. I got to see and take pictures from viewpoints I never thought I’d get to see. I got to walk around my happy place for the first time in 13 years. And it was all thanks to five kind, sweet, decent, beautiful, loving and caring angels who made it possible. All the moments like last night, all the accolades I receive in my creative endeavors, all the heights I reach will be thanks to those five wonderful ladies mentioned above. ❤
I hope this blog finds you well, and in the comments, talk about something cool you have done recently!
As always, take care, much love and may God richly bless,