At multiple points on this crazy ride, I became nothing but a mere shell of flesh & bones.
I had no thoughts, opinions, or cares in regards to myself & my healthcare. I’ve even let doctors make all my healthcare decisions. I’ve allowed myself to be led around like a timid sheep.
I’ve been in one of these funks for a period of time now. Once again it hits me & I recognize that it’s happening again.
I’m done, finished, I’m taking back my life. No More! I would rather live ten less years then live ten more minutes like this. I’m choosing quality over quantity. I am once again taking charge of my healthcare!
I had this brief, yet eye opening moment of clarity & I know a lot will need to change. As much as I was brave and badass sounding about my revelation, I’m scared, unsure & procrastinating.
I remind myself for the millionth time of the following things.
- I do not have to shine for others.
- I’m in control of my care.
- There will be dragons that will try & block my way.
- I am strong enough to slay them.
- I am not alone.
I know this will probably happen again. But for today, I’m proud of myself for recognizing it was happening & being strong enough to advocate for myself, once again.