At multiple points on this crazy ride, I became nothing but a mere shell of flesh & bones.

I had no thoughts, opinions, or cares in regards to myself & my healthcare. I’ve even let doctors make all my healthcare decisions. I’ve allowed myself to be led around like a timid sheep.

I’ve been in one of these funks for a period of time now. Once again it hits me & I recognize that it’s happening again.

I’m done, finished, I’m taking back my life. No More! I would rather live ten less years then live ten more minutes like this. I’m choosing quality over quantity. I am once again taking charge of my healthcare!

I had this brief, yet eye opening moment of clarity & I know a lot will need to change. As much as I was brave and badass sounding about my revelation, I’m scared, unsure & procrastinating.

I remind myself for the millionth time of the following things.

  • I do not have to shine for others.
  • I’m in control of my care.
  • There will be dragons that will try & block my way.
  • I am strong enough to slay them.
  • I am not alone.

I know this will probably happen again. But for today, I’m proud of myself for recognizing it was happening & being strong enough to advocate for myself, once again.

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