When pain consumes me & my soul is tired, music is my Great Escape.
Music carries me away when my pain is unbearable. I think I’ve written before about earbuds in + eye mask on = Do not disturb. I’m at the end of what I can tolerate when it comes to my pain level at that moment. In fact you can take those pain charts and stick them… I digress.
I have a lot of musician friends, even more since the pandemic left us isolated & many turned to live online venues. If you love music and live performances you should check out Quarantine Karaoke on Facebook. It seriously carried many people through 2020 & beyond. Music was shared, friendships were forged & insomniacs united all over the world.
I’m constantly telling my friends that their music is my saving Grace. Especially late at night when my insomnia won’t set my brain free. Enter Sandman, is my battle cry. Give me sleep or give me death. Ok, that’s a bit dramatic. But you get my point.
When I’m watching a live music performance online, I will usually engage in the comment thread. This helps take a way that lonely feeling of being wide awake, sitting in the dark while your family is sleeping. Sometimes I don’t chat, I just listen. Don’t think I’m any less engaged. Chances are, I’m escaping the torture my body is imposing. Music becomes my getaway car & you are the wheelman.
Know this, when I tell you, that you’ve helped me, you’ve helped me. You’ve helped me to escape my pain, however brief it may be it means everything to me. Together music & I withdraw into my brain. I leave my body behind and travel on your every note 🎶
I am so grateful to music & those who share their talents. I love all music, I’m not partial to any particular genre. Depending on my mood you could find me listening to just about anything. My playlists are as eclectic & disorganized as my thoughts.
I have songs separated into playlists according to my mood. Happy, Overwhelmed, Hopeful, Fearless & Pissed Off, are just a few of the many lists I’ve created. There are days I need a laugh & days I need a cry. Music carries me through all the emotions that need feeling. Here are a few songs I’ve gotten lost in when my body or mind is just not cooperating.
Rob Thomas’ Her Diamonds, is about his wife’s battle with an auto immune disease. It’s his take on what it’s like watching someone you love sick & in pain. “Diamonds” is a metaphor for her tears. It’s a powerful song and I can relate to the lyrics on so many levels.
I have a friend who sings a cover of Matchbox 20’s, Hand Me Down. It’s so hauntingly beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes and yet somehow makes me feel less alone. Sometimes we need a good cry & that’s ok. I don’t think he realizes how good it really is & I love this about him. It connects with people on an emotional level. It connects with me & I’m grateful that he shares it with us.
Another go to song for me when I’m just feeling overwhelmed, unseen & unheard, is Chloe Adams, The Doctor Said. Anyone who has gone through the process of navigating family, friends & the medical field, while dealing with a chronic illness, whether physical or mental will relate to this song!! This song makes me feel less crazy when the world leaves you feeling like you are! She gets it! The song speaks to the struggle those with an illness deal with.
I talk about feeling alone, a lot. Let me clarify, I am rarely physically alone. But when you’re in pain, you feel like no one in the world understands exactly what you’re going through in that moment. You are alone in your pain riddled body. No one can share the pain & you wouldn’t want them to!
It’s also hard not to feel lonely when you lie in the dark & you can not sleep. It’s messes with your mind & rarely does an insomniac brain go to happy thoughts! This is when it’s time for ear buds in and music on!
Holly Forbes is someone everyone now knows from being on The Voice this season. But I first heard her on Quarantine Karaoke over a year ago. She was singing a cover of Lewis CapaIdi’s, Someone I loved. I felt every note she sang. I was instantly hooked & as I got to know her through her lives, I saw a kind and gentle soul. You don’t just hear her music, you feel it. I believe everyone on her lives knew she could be a star. Her growth from then to now has been inspirational. So happy for her & I’m enjoying watching her journey. I absolutely love her version of, Have You Ever Seen The Rain.
Music also lifts me up and makes me smile. Want to hear some soulful music? Check out the Queen of Rock & Soul, Paggy Prine. Damn I love her. She can lift me out of a funk with just a few notes!! She’ll even jump out of her comfort zone to sing songs that make me smile & she does the same for all who make requests on her live online, performances. She gets me smiling every time, with her version of Dear Future Husband. Even when I do not want to smile, I smile. Love her beyond measure. I hope she knows how many people she helps with her music. I absolutely love when she sings Cry To Me. She means what she sings & her performances bring me joy. Her songs make me want to get up & dance!!
I miss dancing. I love dancing. I could dance like no one is watching anywhere, anytime. I’m crazy like that. I still dance when the stars align and I’m able. Its been a long time. My husband knows I love dancing. He always & without hesitation grabs my hand and dances with me when our wedding song, Stand By Me, is playing. It doesn’t matter how either of us is feeling, we dance.
It’s a long winter. Music will fill my soul, on those long stretches when I’m stuck at home. Im going to try and share more of the songs I listen to when I need a mental break! I’d love to hear what some of your go-to songs are for motivation, optimism, a good cry, etc… Time to add to my playlist! I might just have some dancing days this winter!