Fast forward 10 years.

My doctors are questioning my diagnosis. I’m getting sicker but I’m not following what they would expect from MS. They believe either there are 2 things going on, one neurological & one rheumatological, or that my MS diagnosis is wrong. They send me back to the same rheumatologist I saw before. . I cringe, I don’t want to go. But I do. Because let’s face it, at this point I’m a bag of cells, doing exactly what I’m being told to do. These highly educated doctors know best, right?

I’m taking 24 pills a day, still going for infusions every other month & I’m barely able to maintain the facade of being “fine”. Truth be told I’m screaming and no one can hear me. I feel like I’m falling and the bottom never comes.

I go the appointment with the rheumatologist, Dr Asshole M.D. He comes in and says the same exact thing. I don’t have telangiectasias, it’s all in my head. Only this time he says, “it’s not Scleroderma”. Hmmm another new big medical word.